I have a confession to make. I was not very productive on Monday. I spent most of the day trying to watch Beyonce’s Coachella performance. It took most of the day because my reception at work is terrible. Plus I had to at least look like I was working for part of the day.
Anyway, just in case you think you’re about to read a crazy fan girl recap, let me be honest. I own exactly two Beyoncé CDs. I found “4” in a clearance bin at a discount bookstore and I received “Lemonade”as a gift. (And oh, what a gift it is!) I am not a member of the Beyhive. I do not follow Beyoncé on any social media platform. I get all my Beyoncé news from Crissle and Kid Fury.
Nonetheless, the Coachella performance was showing up all over my timeline so I decided to check it out.
Let me tell y’all something. Beyoncé managed to throw in an entire week’s worth of HBCU homecoming festivities into one two hour concert. This woman had me wanting to rosin up my bow so I could play in her orchestra, and wishing I hadn’t quit my college flag team after one practice.
The concert starts with a drum major doing her solo. Do you know how hype things are when the drum major takes the field… Lord and don’t let the drum major actually be a majorette.
Wait a minute! Did Beyoncé just sing the Black national anthem? Yes, she did! And then had the nerve to follow it up with the black woman’s anthem for the last two years, “Formation”.”
Did I hear Master P’s voice just ask if I’m ‘bout it? I’ve been ‘bout it since 1995, sir. Is the band trying to take over for the 99 and 2000s? At this point everybody’s dancing, including me in my office chair. You cannot be a lady of a certain age, and hear that song and be still.
Lord, have mercy. Is that Nina Simone’s voice I hear?
I’m not familiar with Queen Bey’s entire catalog, but I knew almost every song she performed. She even did her verse from Khaled’s “Top Off”, a terrible song best known for the ‘Tiffany’ controversy. Every now and then, between her bops and body rolls, Mrs. Knowles-Carter did a riff or an interlude, just to remind us all that she can sing her face off.
This homecoming party included an entire marching band, a drum-line showcase, baton twirling, a neophyte stepshow, complete with introductions. (It wasn’t quite as hype as the real thing. Real Neophyte stepshows have an electricity about them that cannot be duplicated on stage.) And The she ended it as all homecomings do, with a reunion, a Destiny’s Child reunion. Michelle almost hit all of her steps. I was impressed. Confession number two: In real life, I’m more Michelle than Beyoncé, but watch my runway strut when I hit the aisle for offering next Sunday. Queen Bey, all the way.) She closed out her set doing a dance duet with the platinum selling, and platinum haired, Solange.
It was good, darn it! The woman knows how to put on a show. But don’t take my word for it. Watch it for yourself… you know if, you got two hours to spare.