I remember sitting in church the Sunday after the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting. I wept bitterly that day. At the time, my oldest had just started school, and my heart hurt just thinking about dropping her off at school, and then never hearing her giggle again. Here we are, nearly ten years later. My youngest is in her first year of in-person classes. There are two days left in the school year and I’m darn near tears again. I don’t even want to send my kids to school tomorrow, but the big kid has finals.
I don’t have thoughts. I don’t know what to pray for.
I am grieving and I’ve gone straight past the denial stage and straight to anger. I am angry that this keeps happening. I am angry that all government officials have to offer is thoughts and prayers. I am angry that these babies weren’t safe at school. I’m angry that none of us is safe, not at the school house, not at the grocery store, not in our churches.
I don’t have solutions. I don’t even know where to begin, but I know we should have begun years ago.
I’ve been reading the book of Job this week, and while there are lots of quotable passages, what sticks with me more than anything is that for seven days, Job’s friends donned sackcloth and ashes and mourned with him in silence. Currently the world can’t afford silence for seven days, but the least we can do right now is grieve with those who are grieving.
If you are sad, hurting, afraid, or even angry right now, please know that you are not alone. Hug the little people in your lives. Hug the big people in your lives. Everybody could use a little extra love and grace today.