For some reason people think that black women have a hard time developing friendships with other black women. I recently read a post that talked about how the mother-daughter relationship is the foundation for girls to learn how to build relationships with other girls. Thus, if that initial relationship is unhealthy or otherwise not a good one then chances are the girl will grow up with difficulty in developing healthy relationships with other women.
Now, I’m no psychologist, but from experience and observations I can see that. I have never had a rocky relationship with my mom, but I know our relationship has evolved, matured, and blossomed over the time of my journey to adulthood. Mom, along with my big sister, aunties and cousins, have always provided an environment for my womanhood to flourish. I can look back over my life to see that I have always had solid girlfriends during each season of my life although during those tumultuous teenage years into early college I didn’t know enough about myself to recognize the ones who I should have sustained my relationship with so it just kinda fell off…
This past weekend reminded me that sisterhood isn’t just what sorority life tries to teach us. Sisterhood is filled with the women folk – elders and youth, biological and non-biological, from far and near who surround and uplift other women folk. My village has been formed because of the Sisterhood bonding that has developed and been cultivated throughout the years. I look back and reflect on my role within the sisterhood over the years and I know that there have been times that I could have done better. However, to see the women folk who came together to celebrate my baby boy this past weekend and throughout this pregnancy journey has been an eye-opening experience. My partner reminds me that the willingness of people to support us speaks directly to my mom’s character and what she instilled in me to help develop my personality. This speaks to the idea that mother-daughter relationships are so important in giving us the foundation to build healthy woman-to-woman relationships.
I say all of this to say: I felt the sisterhood shine through in the way these women came to support my baby boy. I am so thankful to have women folk – from various racial/ethnic backgrounds, age ranges and socioeconomic statuses – to pray and support us throughout this process. Baby boy has an entire village waiting for him.