So, recently, comedienne extraordinaire Monique came out with a video, complaining about the way some young women dress in public. If you haven’t seen the video, she admonishes women for wearing their bonnets and head scarves in public. She said that pajamas and slippers were only for in the house.

I had so many problems with this video. First of all, she recorded the video bra-less and in a bathrobe. I bet more people saw this video than people who actually saw the young ladies who were “inappropriately” attired in Atlanta airport that day. She completely nullified her message in her own presentation.

I don’t wear bonnets out in public. I barely sleep in bonnets. But you know what else I don’t do? Comb my hair every day. I’m not someone who makes regular trips to the beauty salon. My afro is big and beautiful. If my hair, in it’s natural state, unnerves you, then that’s your problem not mine. I’m challenging beauty standards every single time I walk in a room. Get used to it, or be uncomfortable.

But the last thing about Monique’s video that bothered me, was that I know I am guilty of this same thing. I get annoyed when I see people in pajamas at the grocery store. I can excuse it at my 6am grocery store run, but if it’s 2:00pm and you didn’t manage to get dressed, I’m concerned. But it’s not just pajamas. I judged a lady for wearing red thigh high boots to church. They were cute, and I wish I could have pulled that look off. But I deemed it inappropriate for church. Like I have the right to judge anybody else’s look, knowing I roll up in church, late and looking a mess most of the time!

My real problem with the video is Monique’s claim to “ Love y’all for real”. If your love is conditional on how I look, or how I wear my hair, and not based on the fact that I was made in the image and likeness of God, then your love isn’t real at all. We have to stop placing more value on people’s looks than we do on their souls. That’s what real love is.