“How many kids do you want?”
Fresh out of college my answer would have been three. My mid twenties the answer would have been two. Early thirties, I would say one. A boy.
Now, the answer to the question today is none (or at at least not right now). I work in a behavioral health clinic whose primary focus is children. So for 8 hours a day I am around kids. That environment truly causes you to have some deep thoughts.
Kids face challenges now that was unheard of when I was growing up. It’s amazing what road blocks are in their way. A kid doesn’t feel like they can just be a kid. Also, parenting styles are different as well. Growing up I had a healthy fear of my parents. I knew when to talk, how to stay still, and how to behave in public. I’ve seen kids be blatantly disrespectful to their parents. My inner dialogue wonders how they are still able to talk after such behavior. The parents I come in contact with often time do not command respect. Now, I’m not judging at all just giving my perspective and how it makes me feel about having children in this season in my life.
Am I saying I don’t want kids at all? No, I am not. What I am saying this version of Neikeita would not be the best parent to a child. This version of Neikeita would not handle the responsibility of another human life well. Some might say that sounds selfish but when you look at the bigger picture, it’s truly not.
Kids pick up their parents vibes very easy. If I was to have a bad day, I’m sure my children would have one. Parents truly set the tone for their children. And nowadays parents are consume with their own life shambles that they don’t realize the effect it is having on their little ones.
Being a parent is a holistic job. You are responsible for your child’s physical, spiritual, and mental health. A good parent knows all three have to be strong in order to raise a decent human being.
So as I stated earlier, this version of Neikeita knows she would lack the know how to do all three in this season of her life for another little human being. It would be unfair to bring someone into that type of chaos. And I’m okay with that. I’m working on myself right now. Plus, I’m still single too. 😉