Serenity Sunday: Leave It Behind

Me. 10 years, one decade ago.

I saw a lot of forward movement in 2019. Radical, strategic moves were made with my non-profit work. I adjusted my teaching schedule and saw major improvements in my physical/mental health because of that adjustment. I lost 20 pounds and finally got over some post-partum hormonal stuff that lingered way too long after having my son. I even reconnected with theatre.

There were, however, a lot of bumps that I had to navigate in 2019. These bumps made a couple of business-personal relationships awkward at times. Because of the self-awareness I cultivated at the end of 2018, I was able to excel in a lot of areas in 2019 and do damage control when I found myself slipping into old thought patterns. I did lose it a couple of times, but I recovered…

What was your 2019 like? What bumps did you have to navigate?

Me in 2016. My year of humility.

Before we begin our 2020 vision-casting (too late?), I think we should ask ourselves: What are the things we could do without in the next decade?

Think about 2019. Consider the low-impact days, the days you stalled, the grudges you may have held, the time that was wasted (the depression that kept you down for entire days and the hours spent on social media comparing and contrasting). Think about the people you may have hurt with habitual criticism. Did you pull anyone into your drama? Did you get pulled into theirs?

With 2019 becoming my year of efficiency, effectiveness, and emotional balancing, these 2 thoughts come to mind as I approach the new year, ready to eliminate poor practices:

1. Not being able to honor commitments due to busyness. Remember how cool it once was to appear to be “always busy” or “on the grind”… Well now, being overly-committed and task-driven is starting to lose its glamor. To be stretched to the max hurts our health, our families, and can actually negatively impact our businesses and missions. So much so, people are passing on money and letting go of the fear they will lose the (perceived or actual) respect of others– choosing to protect their peace and sanity. Many of us are starting to grasp the concept of working smarter.

Where it gets tricky: Deciding how many tasks we can actually manage vs. what work deserves our full attention and devotion. We see value in everything so we give up nothing. But are we not arrogant to think we can do it all and maintain a meaningful connection the whole time?

Moving forward, we should empower others (i.e. our partners, proteges, assistants, mentees, students) by relinquishing tasks so that others can learn what we know, if they are willing, and if it releases you. We can always be a bridge that helps them from feeling like they can’t to knowing they are capable.

When and if possible, we should re-imagine our assignments, schedules, follow-up practices, and how we utilize our teams…no more leaving ends raggedy or untied.

We should also not put off the high-impact work that requires more strategic thought and energy. While high-impact work can be hard and scary, it still deserves our brain commitment. Let’s embrace new ways and habits of nurturing professional relationships in the new decade. Let’s aim to be less busy and more accessible. And watch how we actually get more done!

2. Things that don’t align. There were moments when I knew the thing felt rushed, but I forced ideas and partnerships into alignment. I didn’t have time to think deeply about the thing or the partnership. My heart literally said wait– do you even know what this means, then my mind said what the hell, you’ll figure it out. And my mouth followed up with sure I can do it! Thereafter, the whole thing became off-center, imbalanced, and hard to steer.

We should leave habits like these in 2019 along with other trippy things like egomania.

I can recall being in rooms with people who were so self-absorbed that the shared moment became more about the ego of one rather than the needs of the collective. Confidence is a must, but egomania is a mindset that doesn’t serve anyone. Personality bumps can also cause partnerships or situations to feel spiritually misaligned. Unlike confidence, egomania is grounded in nothing. Leave it behind and watch yourself become a fully realized human being who can realign herself…

Me in 2015. My year of boldness.

We are 2 days from 2020. I challenge all of us to pull back from social media for self-reflection. What can’t come with you into the new year? What about you must absolutely stay behind in 2019? Now, write it down.

Think deeply about it and try not to make public promises or new year affirmation posts without first speaking it to and for yourself. Furthermore, believing in it yourself.

You’ll notice that anyone who experienced growth and positive change this past year likely worked hard (and probably privately) to address and break their bad habits.

How is a 20/20 vision even possible without hindsight and honesty?

Clinnesha is a writer, wife, mom, meta-artist, and social entrepreneur who feels most accountable to southern, black citizen-artists, elders, children, and families. Her work is at the intersection of arts, culture, innovation, and community.

6 thoughts on “Serenity Sunday: Leave It Behind

  1. I can relate on so many levels. Turned down several projects in 2019 by asking myself…”How does this serve my spirit” or “why am I really doing this”. I’ve found that since I’ve stopped chasing $$$ that more meaningful projects tend to come my way or maybe they were there all along and I just couldn’t see it. I’ve made a great deal of progress in the area of self care but still have a ways to go. Thank you so much for this message…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know reflecting had to become a habit to secure change within myself. I had to eliminate old ideologies . I wrestled with negative thinking at the beginning of the year only to find myself naming the term stinking thinking. I made a commitment to look for opportunities to be positive to show negativity it had no home in me anymore. I found myself happier. The conscious decision to hold on to faith, positivity and hope instead of bitterness. The phrase “By this I know “ got me through some tough times. The things God has protected me from is a true testimony and by this I know (insert example) is where God displays his presence in my life.

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  3. As usual I’m in awe with your thoughts. Your mind is so deep but not deep to not understand. As I was reading this I told my daughter she really needs to read this because I could see so much of her 2019 year and so much that needs to stay in 2019. I even thought about reading this at my church because I can see so much that might help with some struggles and identities. I thank God for your wisdom and pray for your continued words of wisdom in 2020. God is using you in such a powerful way. I miss the dance group. Keep pressing forward and be blessed.

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  4. I love reading your writing. Yes I have some things I need to leave in 2019. My main thing is spend more time in the word of God and renew my mind to think positive and not negative. Also learn to say no because sometimes it’s hard for me to say no. I don’t like to hurt anyone feeling focus on what makes me happy

    Liked by 1 person

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