Serenity Sunday: The Assignment

When I was eighteen years old, I learned that people were out in the world trying to “find themselves”.

Although there were earlier signs of my creative abilities, I knew, at eighteen, that I was not only an artist, but also a humanist. I tapped into what I believe was a divine assignment…a gravitation to something much bigger than myself.

On graduation night, I received a blue leather bound Bible with Clinnesha Nicole Dillon inscribed on the front. I highlighted my favorite verses inside. 1 Peter 4: 9-10 read:

9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

I went to college with the ultimate goal of “f i n d i n g m y s e l f”. It was an obscure yet exciting thought! I remember during my sophomore year at Tougaloo, Keith and I got engaged. One of the reasons we ended that engagement after a couple of months was because I, of course, had not yet fully “found myself”.

I started grad school in 2006 which led to an interesting version of myself. I found both God and Amiri Baraka.

I was “grumbling” loudly, borderline hostile, and still very obscure when it came to identity. Although I had some sense of direction, I had no grasp on purpose or stewardship.

Self-discovery, unfortunately at times, led to confusion, thoughtless patterns, and hurtful words. I even forgot about some people who absolutely didn’t deserve to be forgotten about on my journey to self-discovery.

Because of self-discovery, a lot of us have had to learn more about the sub-journey of healing and reconciliation.

In 2009, I married the love of my life. Soonafter, I became a mom of three and a teacher/mentor to many.

Thereafter, I accepted my calling to be someone my family and community could call on.

In my life-walk, my identities have been convenient, but my “assignment” has been most fulfilling. My “assignment” has both held me accountable and steered me back when I have ventured off the path into the obscure.

This season, I am so grateful for the assignment on my life! ‘Cause what I didn’t know at eighteen or at twenty-one, is that knowing yourself actually comes down to losing yourself in order to experience a higher power within.

Clinnesha is a writer, wife, mom, meta-artist, and social entrepreneur who feels most accountable to southern, black citizen-artists, elders, children, and families. Her work is at the intersection of arts, culture, innovation, and community.

2 thoughts on “Serenity Sunday: The Assignment

  1. Your writings are truly thought provoking. I am so proud of the woman you have become and your dedication to the youth in our communities 🙏🏽🙏🏽

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  2. You are like a breath of fresh air. You are inspiring, caring, WOG, selfless, confident and talented. Your words along with actions are exactly what God expects of you. I know without a doubt that you will achieve much higher goals that come your way. Just continue to exemplify such great character and great works, by allowing the God in you to flow like honey and surely your sticky path will attract others to follow. I love you and look forward to more inspiration.

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