Love is fundamental;

Multi-lingual;

and for married folks, it often gets lost in translation.

Interlocking champagne flutes on our wedding day seemed to be as intricate as it could get. The fears and insecurities existed then, they were just quiet…

We had no idea how multifaceted we were as individuals. How alternative our universes were even though we were soul mates…

We had no idea marriage was less about self-gratification and more about self-sacrifice.

That sense of self however does exist in marriage. The journey essentially becomes about moving mindfully toward your life’s purpose and what you need to personally fulfill on earth. (Something that was established long before our birthdates.)

You never stop evolving as individuals.

Those individual purposes create wavelengths, which can create differences, which all creates the poetry of the relationship.

And support is everything. Perhaps equally if not more important than communication.

I can recall hearing older couples say, “communication is key”. It was the most recommended piece of marital advice leading up to our wedding. I had no idea that getting your feelings across to the other person could be so costly and ill-timed if you’re not careful.

Marriage requires a lot of love, respect, support, and consideration. If you’re not ready to declare war on your selfishness; if you are not ready to work on your whole heart and personhood, marriage will be extremely difficult…maybe even impossible… ’cause a real deal marriage is open heart surgery…

Are you ready for it? 

Is it harder than you thought it would be?

I remember when we would take selfie after selfie after selfie trying to achieve that perfect look of happiness…

Turns out, you can’t stage, manufacture, or photoshop infinite love. Here’s to a lifetime of interlocking arms, showing support, and keeping it real. ❤

Clinnesha is a writer, wife, mom, meta-artist, and social entrepreneur who feels most accountable to southern, black citizen-artists, elders, children, and families. Her work is at the intersection of arts, culture, innovation, and community.