Today’s “Dear Younger Me” features Stacee C. Lambey. Stacee is a native of Altus, Oklahoma. Stacee life is filled with awesome moments by being Nurse Lambey, Ella’s daughter, PJ’s sister, and Brae’lon, Brian & Emmaree’s mom. Stacee is a lover of Christ and has a strong passion for working with youth. Stacee is currently pursing her master’s in nursing with hope of working with the geriatrics community. She also has a weekly podcast called Cocoa Sistas Coffee Talk.

Thank you Stacee for your contribution to this week’s blog.

Dear 21 Year Old Stacee,

You are officially at the brink of womanhood. Now is the time to enjoy your life to the fullest. Make every second count because you can’t get it back. You are now a mother and although you thought that this would be the scariest thing ever, it has actually been the best thing that has ever happened to you. You owe it to him and yourself to be the best version of you, you can be. Learn to laugh at yourself after all you’re only human. Embrace your flaws, your curves, and be ok with voicing your difference in opinion.

Learn that you matter in a relationship just as much as the person you’re with. They can’t make you stay; you choose to stay. Remember your worth is invaluable and him putting his hands on you does not equivalate love. It equivalates control. You have standards and don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve. Understand that you have daddy issues that will continue to follow you unless you face those issues and get help. You yearn for a healthy relationship with a man but you won’t be able to have one unless you face those demons.

You are perfectly, imperfect and you love helping people. Although your career path has changed you will do amazing things with nursing so don’t ever give up on your dreams. Keep pushing, you’ll eventually get there.

Remember your girl scout motto of make new friends but keep the old. Don’t be afraid of being you and meeting new people, but keep in touch with the friends that have always supported you and been there for you.

 Try new things, travel, take some risk; the sky is the limit. Be creative and go for what you want no matter how silly it may seem to others. Take time for you. You are at your best when you are rested. You can’t be everything to everyone all the time. The solution isn’t always Stacee. Learn to say no and let go. Let the pieces fall where they may. It doesn’t mean you were irresponsible. It means you chose you; and that’s ok.

Be financially wise. Learn to save for a rainy day. That’s how wealth is built. Every time you get a dime it doesn’t mean you need to spend a quarter. You’ll never get a head that way. Hard times are coming and you’ll wish you had been smarter with your money.

Finally, God has destined you to do great things. Trust him even when you can’t trace his presence. He knows the plans he has for you and when the course seems rough and rugged, be reminded of the process of a diamond.

You are eccentric. You are intelligent. You are mother, a sister, a listener, a friend, a creator, a dreamer. You are the definition of BLACK GIRL MAGIC! Be THAT Unapologetically.

Love 34 year old Stacee