It’s February, and that means different things to different people. It’s Black History Month, of course, and I’m excited about that. My local libraries go all out for BHM. Many of my friends and loved ones are celebrating birthdays and anniversaries. I’m looking forward to celebrating with them. But besides the yucky weather that comes with February in Kansas City, the one thing I am not looking forward to is Valentine’s Day.

I’m not sure who Valentine’s Day is for, but it’s certainly not for me. Maybe it’s for elementary school kids. They are going to get cards and candy from the other 25 kids in their classes, anyway. From the looks of it, it doesn’t appear the holiday of choice for single people. I don’t know too many married folks who celebrate the day wholeheartedly, but I do have some couple friends who use the day as an excuse to splurge. For the most part though, the holiday seems to be for people who are loosely attached, who are looking for some confirmation of their relationship status.

Do you need help confirming your relationship status? I can help. “It’s complicated.” Relationships are all complicated. There is no such thing as a simple relationship. As people change, so do their relationships. Even the most natural relationship, that of a parent and child, is problematic. The relationship I have with my soon-to-be teenage daughter is not the same as it was when she was an infant.

What I mean is that love takes on different shapes, and rarely is it that of a heart-shaped box. (Though the chocolates would probably be welcomed.) Love is not uniform. It is not one-size fits all. It looks and feels different for us all. “Love is patient and love is kind…” Except when it’s not!
And sometimes it’s not.

Sure, love sometimes looks like flowers and candy. But it also looks like a ride to the grocery store, or checking your homework. I challenge you to look at love differently this month. Try to find the romantic in the routine. I wish we would stop trying to define and classify love and instead spend more time being able identify it when we see it.