Happy 2019! Somehow we all managed to survive the first 24 hours of the year. I am sure many of you made resolutions. I’m sure some of you made plans to eat better, to exercise more, to save more money. Those are all great ideas. I hope to do some of those things, too. But You have to draw the line somewhere, and my line is drawn right here:
“A new year, a new me.”
The line is cute, and it might be the motivation some of you need to make better decisions, but that’s not where I am in my life. While I definitely need to join you on making better choices, I have no desire for a “new” me.
It took me a long time to love the me that I am. I didn’t always appreciate my physical features, or the way my brain worked. I hated the sound of my voice, and the reflection in the mirror. There was a time in my life when I actually did wish for a “new” me. There were days I felt the need to apologize for being myself, for taking up space in a world not meant for me.
Those days are behind me. I definitely have some improvements to make in my attitude, in my behavior, and in my choices, but I am no longer in need of a “new” me. The old me just needs a few tweaks.
I am far from perfect, but I am perfectly happy with who I have become and who I am still becoming. (Shout out to Michelle Obama.)
I am not sorry about taking up space or raising my voice. I love you, and sometimes that looks like lovingly sharing a truth that hurts. Sometimes it looks like taking up space that was not created for me. Sometimes it looks like me creating a space for myself where there wasn’t room before.
Some of you might call that acting brand new. I’m just seeing the old me with fresh eyes, and giving myself room for growth. Praying you do the same.
Lovingly and Unapologetically,