It’s Pre-Christmas Eve and, man, the stakes are getting high. There are a lot of expectations. Lots of excitement. Lots of eagerness. I’ve already had to use the fire extinguisher, but I’m saving that story for a future Serenity. 🙄

The Wal-Mart anxiety has settled in. Many of us have already started going through the emotional stages of Christmas, ranging from pure euphoria to depression. Why depression? Because Christmas has so many people and memories attached to it…and so much money. Have you seen all the tips to keep people from overspending? How many posts have we seen reminding us about the reason for the season? And how many of us are dealing with loss and grief at this very moment? There’s no doubt about it, Christmas Day can be an emotional rollercoaster because there can be a lot to gain and a lot to lose as well. So, with the big day approaching, I want to offer 3 ways to try and remain calm during this hypersensitive time of the year:

1. Try not to lose it when it comes your kids and their extra behavior. They are about to be doing the absolute most but don’t kill ’em. It’s likely you were once this way when it came to Christmas: over eager. Let them be merry, and maybe enjoy a glass of wine with some red velvet cake so that you, too, can relax and be merry. 

2. Don’t compare. There will be a lot of social media posting. A lot of presents under trees and gift-reveals. The average person spends 6-9 hours on social media on Christmas Day. That’s a lot of time spent wishing, wanting, liking, and not liking. Be grateful for what you have, even when others have way more. And log off for a while.

3. Be open to simplicity. Avoid disappointment by not expecting so much from others. You may have an idea for how you want this holiday to go. You may know what gifts you will get. It could all go according to your plan, wish list, or Pinterest board. Or it could not. Maybe someone’s pay check didn’t meet an expectation. Maybe plans and expectations are wreaking havoc on your ability to see the promise and beauty in people, places, things, and moments. It is totally okay to let this Christmas unfold in a unique, spontaneous way. It is absolutely okay if things don’t measure up to your plans and expectations…

With those things in mind, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. I pray you enjoy your family like never before. Peace and love!

Clinnesha is a writer, wife, mom, meta-artist, and social entrepreneur who feels most accountable to southern, black citizen-artists, elders, children, and families. Her work is at the intersection of arts, culture, innovation, and community.