Tonight, ghosts and goblins will freely roam your neighborhood.  Little Red Devils will walk hand in hand with your favorite cartoon critter, and against all odds, a princess is definitely going to ring your doorbell tonight.

I’m coming to you on their behalf. As a parent of trick-or-treaters, there are a few things we want you all to know.

Dos:

1) Do wear a creative costume.  We parents get bored looking at Disney princesses and superheroes.  Surprise us.

2) Grant us grace.  I know the 5-year old rang the bell three times.  I apologize.  She’s faster than us.  By the time we reached out to grab her, she had already rung it twice. That third time was actually us, as we tried to pull her fingers away.

3) Do ask who the kids are dressed as.  Don’t bother guessing, unless you, too, watch Disney Jr. all day.  Besides the kids are all too happy to tell you who they are dressed as.

4) Buy candy you want to eat.  The number of trick-or-treaters is dwindling, as churches and schools try to come up with safe alternatives.   Chances are, you’ll have leftovers, so you’ll want to go with the Snickers bars over the old lady church candy.

5) Healthy snack alternatives are welcome.  Those Halloween pretzels and cheese puffs make great after school snacks.  The kids are overloaded with sugar anyway.  That apple juice box is just what they need after a long trek through the neighborhood.

Don’ts

1) Do not scare the crap out of the kids.  We want them to go to sleep tonight (preferably in their own beds.)

2) Don’t lecture us about how it’s too cold, too late, and unholy to have the kids out.  You want to tape scripture to your candy, fine.  But let the kids have their fun tonight.

3)  Don’t withhold candy based on a kids size.  Some of us, I mean them, are bigger than others.  Please treat my 12-year-old the same as my 4-year-old.  She’s not too big to go trick or treating.  Neither is her mother!

4) Do not spend too much money!  I bought candy yesterday.  I saw one bag that was $23.00.  That is my candy budget for the entire year.  I will not spend that for one night.  You shouldn’t either.

5) Don’t put fish hooks or razor blades in your apples.  In fact, keep your apples, your homemade baked goods,  and unwrapped candy to yourself.   We’re just going to throw them away when we get home anyway.  Don’t waste your money or your time.

Happy Halloween from my monsters to yours!