My friend Marta recently posted a blog on TheWriteAddication called The Death of Conversation. This really resonated with me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a room with a group of people and everyone has been staring at their screen. No matter the age, internet content has us glued to our devices. I look around and my heart breaks a little. To answer my fellow blogger’s question, I too, long for human connection via conversation. She wraps the blog with a clear ask: how do I (we) plan on going about getting old school conversation back.
Two ideas come to mind. As it relates to my family, we typically do not allow phones at the dinner table. The t.v. often gets turned off during this time as well. Keith and I both grew up in homes where the tradition of eating together and debriefing about our day was important. So, we really try to maintain the art of conversation during mealtime with the kids.
The other idea is a little more intimate, but I’ll share anyway. One night last week, Keith was in bed about to stream something on t.v. from his phone and I was about to get in the shower. Something said just ask him what’s on his mind. So, I interrupted our typical way of winding down. “What’s on your mind right now,” I asked.
He paused. I saw him collecting his thoughts. Gradually, he unloaded everything he had been mentally working through that day. He really had some deep, compelling thoughts about life building up inside. I didn’t cosign. I didn’t ask questions. I just listened. It was such a great opportunity to connect on an emotional level. It was so special, I found myself wanting more of that conversational rhythm in my life.
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About a year ago, I was introduced to this article called,
36 Questions that Lead to Love
It’s really good for people who are meeting/getting to know one another for the first time, but it also works for people who have been together and are needing to be intentional. After the first set of questions (there are three sets), we were totally engaged in pillow talk. It was the most meaningful and heartfelt conversation I had had in a while.
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Conversation makes people feel valued and loved. How much precious time are we using to watch videos, check email, get on social media, create posts, like pics, text, and catch up on news? While this is daily habit, we should talk more. (Even if it’s talking about what’s trending on social media, at least there’s a conversation around it.) If you have a habit of lying in bed and not once making eye contact with the person you love, you could be living together; yet, feeling worlds a part. And that’s what we need to be unpacking as married people.
Relationships and human connection require us to be intentional.
Let’s stay connected. ❤
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