Do you ever get the feeling that the Universe is trying to get your attention? Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen different variations of the same message over and over again. First it was a blog, then in a sermon, and finally in a book I just found lying around the house. What’s the less than subtle message I keep trying to ignore! “God has you right where he wants you.”

I know a preacher or two who would say that’s good news on a bad day. Me, I’m not so sure.

I get it. It’s good news for those of you who are settling into new jobs and homes. It’s good news if you can see the promised land from where you sit, or if you are making steady progress towards a goal.

But for those of us wandering around in the wilderness, it invites more and more questions. Here? In the middle of nowhere? Here? In this dead-end job? Here? In this hospital bed with my whole backside out? Why would the all-knowing, all-powerful One want anybody to be here? But more importantly, why would he want ME to be here?
Separated from my children…
Separated from parents…
In the unemployment line…
At a job I hate…
Sleeping under a bridge…
In a place where I’m too afraid to sleep…

In Sunday school, they talked about His lovingkindness. Where is the loving? Where is the evidence of kindness in a God who put me in a place where the air is so stagnant that it hurts to breathe it in?

Here.

In my heartache and disappointment, I search for the omnipresent One. His face is hidden from me, but every now and then, even in this dark place, he allows me to see glimpses of his glory …in the kindness of strangers, in an unexpected compliment, in a cool breeze and in a hot cup of tea.

I hate the idea that HE wants me here. But I know there must be something here HE wants me to see.

So i’m Here.

Thank goodness, so is He.

Mama Radford

P.S.
If you, like me, are extremely uncomfortable where you are, please know that you’re not alone. Let’s work together to get out of HERE.