I remember being told that I am a fool for believing in something I have never witnessed for myself. When I speak against injustice, to some, I am also a fool. When I choose not to trade insult for insult or pain for pain, I am looked at like a fool. I am a fool when I get out of line with the majority and choose to be outnumbered. A fool for choosing a certain path. A fool for giving people the benefit of the doubt. When my husband and I were younger, we were “fools in love”…
When it comes to foolery, this I know for sure.
Jesus, I am a fool for You. Not only that. I am bold because of You. Wise because of You. Because of my belief in Your kind, amazing, reckless love for me, I am sold out for You.
I remember surrendering to You when I was alone, broken, and confused. When I was dead inside and in a battle for my mind…
You took my shame and pocketed it. Unhardened my heart. Ushered me on to live my life when I wanted to stay defeated.
Your tender touch reminded me that I had a beating heart. You restored me and helped me to love myself.
Thank You for loving me in spite of me. Thank You for loving me without fear of rejection. Thank You for loving me with no ulterior motives. Thank You for loving me freely with a love that’s so sweet. Thank You for loving me knowing:
I am flawed. That I can harden my heart. Be overeager. Wise in my own eyes. Anxious at times. Arrogant. Often complicated. I can yell. Critique. Curse. Worry. Fight to get my shame back. Embrace my burdens. Long for “stuff”. I can be prideful. My obsessive-compulsive tendencies can get the best of me. The world is chaotic and uncertain, and I often try to tackle it in my own strength– constantly striving to comprehend the incomprehensible.
I can be out of step with You completely; and yet, You still love me. And yet, you continue to stand in my place over and over again.
Clinnesha D. Sibley is an award-winning playwright and published poet/essayist. She is the Literary Arts Instructor at Mississippi School of the Arts in Brookhaven, MS. For more information, please visit: http://onepagerapp.com/clinneshadsibley.