The older I get, the more impatient I find myself. I was talking with a good friend of mine the other day about writing music, and my question to him was simply: “Why would God give me music to write or stories to write that never see the light of day?”
In the past, I have tried to convince myself that if none of my creative output were ever seen or heard or read, I would be fine with it, so long as it gave glory to God. Right now I’m in an honest moment where I have to call “bull” on myself. I want it to be seen. I want it to be heard. If I have desired to write music that moves the heart of people for God, I want them to hear it. If I have written a story that I know is good, I want people to read it, for the heart of God that is within it. I guess that is the selfish, self-seeking part of me. I don’t want the glory that comes with it. I guess I just tend to think that my creativity is my gift to the world from God, or how He expresses His love for the world through me. When I reach the point of frustration, creativity pulls me out of it. Whether it is singing or writing, or now, even photography. I don’t know that I have ever had as many creative outlets as I have in my life, and so as a 37 year old man, I find a real press in my heart to do more. to find more outlets. To create more outlets. I look around the world and see God’s creativity expressed. I believe that is how He meant it to be.
Maybe I’m wrong. But I’m going to believe that until God tells me differently.
Maybe you are a creative as well. I want to urge you to continue creating. Keep your stuff. Look for ways to give it away to people. One day you’ll find that right avenue. I believe in you. God does too.