There’s this lovely, natural phenomenon called inosculation– a process in which the branches of two trees of the same species grow together in close proximity. Eventually, these two trees touch and the bark of their touching surfaces connect. They become conjoined trees, also known as “marriage trees”. This is how I describe the closeness between me and my husband. All marriages are different. Couples achieve closeness and intimacy in various ways. I’ve been in my relationship for seventeen years. We’ve been married eight of those years. Our bond remains strong because we are growing together and creating opportunities to connect. If you’re looking for ways to cultivate closeness with your spouse, here are six things I recommend:
Return to places that have great meaning for both of you. There’s a park my husband and I pass by that triggers a sweet memory from when we were dating in high school. Nostalgia is powerful. It’s a humble reminder that your relationship is a sentimental journey.
Don’t always go for the photo opp. It’s cool to be exclusive and show the world how much you adore one another, but privacy and allowing aspects of your relationship to be just between the two of you also works. It’s a reminder that being fully present with one another is what matters most.
Attend weddings together. You can’t help but re-connect with your spouse watching others commit to a lifetime of love. Supporting other couples in the beginning of their marital journey reminds you of how serious these vows are.
Host gatherings. Whether it’s a kid’s birthday celebration, a super bowl party, or an adult social– preparing a menu and working together to entertain and serve guests in your home reminds you that you’re a team.
Take advantage of “children’s church”. Send the little ones to engage with other children while you two sit together and enjoy service as a couple. It reminds you that you’re on a spiritual journey together.
Slow dance. Whether spontaneous or deliberate, slow dancing allows you to connect physically and emotionally with your spouse. It’s hard to go back to reality once music has taken you both to another realm. It reminds you to be vulnerable with one another.
How close are you and your spouse? Please comment and share how you manage to stay close. Let’s inosculate and build strong, unbreakable, healthy marriages!
Clinnesha D. Sibley is an award-winning playwright and published poet/essayist. She is the Literary Arts Instructor at Mississippi School of the Arts in Brookhaven, MS. For more information, please visit: http://onepagerapp.com/clinneshadsibley.