Say What?!? Saturday: Bedtime Stories

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo a couple of weeks ago, Groupon got me on a mattress sale. Ya’ll, I was more nervous than the White House Communications Director before Trump takes the podium. But I hit that button and watched $469 fly out of my account and….

It’s actually a great mattressset! Sealy Essenitals Corral Euro top plush Queen size.  Welp, I went on an ordering spree! Amazon *click* Walmart *clickity-click* For those who don’t know, I’m a weeeee bit impatient when waiting for goodies. lol

Well, good old Walmart is there for the shenanigans and tomfoolery.

Backstory: My mattress and box spring arrived before my bed frame, so I’d placed them on the floor.

1 Week Later:

Wednesday morning, with the excitement of a child on Christmas eve, I stripped my bed and stood them up on ends and skipped out of the house to work!


So after a long day at work, I came home to two packages. My wedge pillow (thanks GERD *side eye* and my bed frame. Mind you, I’m also in school so all kinds of homework got neglected lol

I rip open, well carefully cut open, my new pillow. It unfurls in all it’s foamy glory and then BAM! Black mark *side eye*


So I’m guessing someone was dabbling with a sharpie marker when packing my pillow. I put on my “can I speak to your manager cap” and emailed the company. I then woooosaaaaahed myself back to “It’s ok. This is nothing. You have your bed frame!” *happy dance*

I set the pillow aside and opened my bed frame. With glee, I set out all my pieces, even arranged them in my open space. After turning the directions this way and that way, I ascertained I needed to lock the sides of the frame in place. I skipped over to the rail and what do I see?


*begins gently weeping* Dear Baby Jesus, doth thou not wanteth me to be great on today? This was supposed to be my steel framed 12in high platform bed frame. The 12in is crucial because I use under the bed storage.

After a few choice cuss words, at 8pm, I jump in the Honda and head to my nearest Walmart. I’d had a few too many fly by roachings, due to the weather change, to sleep on the floor anymore. I ain’t the one. I’ll burn this house DOWN! *ahem*

So as I was saying, it was the dead of night…not really lol, but it might as well have been since it was dark. I made my way to the Walmart and bought their cheap 7in high bed frame and a set of bed risers. Where there is a will, there is away. Well, you can’t just buy a few things at Walmart, it demands all your monies. So I also picked up some new pillows and a mattress cover.

*random aside: Wendy’s chicken strips are trash. Taste just like the nuggets. Underwhelmed.*

I make it home, put together the frame with no problem and let out a sigh of relief. Then I grab my trusty bed riser set and realize these new fangled bed frames have 9 legs. But. Why *slow blink* So I let that go for the time being and decide to calmly iron my bed skirt. Ya’ll, I thought I was doing something…it ain’t do nuffin. Oh well.

I start making up my bed and the doggone mattress pad doesn’t fit. Umm the bag said Queen, dis a Queen *slow blink* So I cast that aside and finally crawl in by 11pm. Whew!

But wait, there’s more lol The next morning, I ordered an additional set of bed risers for pick up at Walmart because obviously I have some returns *epic side eye* I go about my day and make it home. I then proceed to DEAD LIFT my mattress set a total of 6 times because ain’t nobody got time for undressing a bed and redoing it.

Thus ends my super long bed saga. My frame is now 12.5 inches off the ground and including mattress and box spring height, I’m thiiiiiis close to needing a step stool but I’m super comfortable.



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