Y’all remember Lackawanna Blues? I’m talking about that movie with Ruben Santiago, Terrence Howard, and S. Epatha Merkerson as Nanny. It has one of the best lines about heterosexual relationships I have ever heard.

“Sometimes, a man and a woman have an understanding that no one else understands.” 

I love this line so much mainly because it’s a nice way of saying mind your own business. Take your relationship advice and cast it into the sea of forgetfulness.

This morning I was reading my favorite advice column online, and was disturbed by a number of recommendations being offered. This particular advice column is an open forum wherein readers are invited, even encouraged, to join in the conversation. Now, it’s usually bad, because some of the people who write in for advice are practically begging to get cursed out. But yesterday’s column was not in it’s usual format. The author instead chose to comment on an article she read in a national publication.

My fellow readers chimed in, as usual, telling the author of the original article that she needed to leave her marriage, or change the dynamics of her relationship.

I was disturbed. I feel like every one has to figure out what works for them inside of their own relationships. What works in my house might not work for the couple across the street. This is the only marital advice I ever give.

Besides that, I am the exact wrong person to ask for advice on how to deal with other people. I’m terrible at relationships. I am not that nice and I have a very low tolerance for nonsense.

I am the epitome of the awkward black girl.  I’m what it would look like if Issa’s character had Asperger Syndrome. Asking me to help with your interactions with other people is most definitely a bad idea.

But every now and then, a friend will ask me what they should do about a situation involving, a co-worker, a current lover, or an ex. I never feel comfortable telling another person what they should do. However, I have no problem telling them what I would do. There’s generally a huge difference…because as stated before, my tolerance level is pretty low.

I am not Dear Abby. Ask her if you want advice. Ask me for entertainment purposes only.

Mama Radford