Say What?!? Saturday: Affirmations and Clapbacks

Welp! It’s holiday season! Turkey Day is next week and then Christmas season begins promptly at midnight on Nov 24th . This time of year can be both a blessing and a difficulty. The blessing is in the time spent with family and friends. The difficulty is in Big Ma asking “Baby, when you gone have some babies?”  Me: Well Big Ma, I’d need a boyfriend/fiance/husband first *sigh*

So, instead of crawling into this jar of Talenti’s Sea Salt Caramel Gelato (it’s my love language lol), I thought I would help by sharing some positive affirmations *results may vary*:

There is more to life than your relationship status

You’re not destined to be alone

Not every guy you date is going to be the one, and that’s okay.

The most important person you’ll ever love is yourself.

If you would like more affirmations, click here.

Bonus! Tired of Big Ma and Auntie Sheryl and ‘nem asking when you will procreate? Try some of these responses *author is not held responsible for any subsequent backhands, whoopins with the nearest object, or holy water/oil that may be issued by offended parties*

“When I accidentally take antibiotics while on birth control” *walks away*

“When the condom breaks?” *runs away*

“When you pay for them?” *extends hand*

“Well since you’re in such a rush, are you done with that turkey baster? *stares at her cousin’s best friend Jamaal*

“February 30th, 2090 but you may not be alive for it” *blank stare*

“It’s the end times, a Cheeto is president, soooooooo never” *slow blink*

~ Ruth

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Say What?!? Saturday: Affirmations and Clapbacks

  1. OMG!!!!! SO LOVE THIS!!!!! RUTH!!!! YES, WE ARE RELATED!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!
    In all seriousness, I truly needed this laugh. It is a serious thing to bring a child into THIS JACKED UP WORLD. As the sign says, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!

    Like

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