I have been injured and in Physical Therapy for the last 2.5 weeks. The fall semester hasn’t started yet, so I have time to go to the appointments and to focus on recovery by completely the stretches and other exercises at home. However, the problem is that I am in the midst of training for my first full marathon this fall so this has been a hard pill to swallow. This is the same marathon that I have already had to defer one year because of other issues last year. I started back walking last week but a few days ago was my breaking point…the day I questioned whether I could keep going, whether I am physically able to complete 26.2mi, whether I am able to reach any of my fitness goals. I have been praying but that day was different. One of those ugly, scream out to the Lord kind of prayers… I just kept repeating “by your stripes I am healed.” I was sad. I felt broken. I didn’t feel any differently after prayer, but I reached out to friends and talked through how to safely continue my training.
But then I woke up the next morning with a new resolve. I am a fighter. I’ve been down before and I refuse to let this stop me. So I ran…well mostly walked but started back with some short intervals of a very slow jog. And then Beyonce happened…for some reason I decided that was the day that I would run with new music and finally listen to Lemonade again for the first time since it was released.
That changed the game. Those lyrics alone pushed me to run intervals for 2 miles while completing a total of 4 miles in almost 1 hour. I AM a winner. I DON’T quit…especially not on myself. I may not be where I want to be in training, nor as fast as I’d like to be, nor as light as I’d like to be, but I keep going…I keep running!
As I continue to build a new life on island, away from all of my family and friends, this song gave me a new perspective. I definitely felt a total sense of FREEDOM when I moved here, but lately I have been letting my circumstances shield the light into my life. So I had to repent..
Yes, I’m a 30 something year old college professor who is single with no children. Yes, my family and most old folks I meet also ask those famous life questions. However, I have come to understand that my life is on track. I am right where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. But there is more to be done. I can be more impactful in the things that I am assigned to do. I took some time to focus on myself; however, I understand that the truth of my life involves the giving of myself. I have been running from some of the assignments upon my life but now is the time to face the truth and change direction. I have to run towards those assignments. I cannot give up because situations look difficult or impossible. I have to keep running. I canNOT quit. I AM a Winner!