I have been injured and in Physical Therapy for the last 2.5 weeks. The fall semester hasn’t started yet, so I have time to go to the appointments and to focus on recovery by completely the stretches and other exercises at home. However, the problem is that I am in the midst of training for my first full marathon this fall so this has been a hard pill to swallow. This is the same marathon that I have already had to defer one year because of other issues last year.  I started back walking last week but a few days ago was my breaking point…the day I questioned whether I could keep going, whether I am physically able to complete 26.2mi, whether I am able to reach any of my fitness goals. I have been praying but that day was different. One of those ugly, scream out to the Lord kind of prayers… I just kept repeating “by your stripes I am healed.” I was sad. I felt broken. I didn’t feel any differently after prayer, but I reached out to friends and talked through how to safely continue my training.

But then I woke up the next morning with a new resolve. I am a fighter. I’ve been down before and I refuse to let this stop me. So I ran…well mostly walked but started back with some short intervals of a very slow jog. And then Beyonce happened…for some reason I decided that was the day that I would run with new music and finally listen to Lemonade again for the first time since it was released.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jLLPPdYrRM

That changed the game. Those lyrics alone pushed me to run intervals for 2 miles while completing a total of 4 miles in almost 1 hour. I AM a winner. I DON’T quit…especially not on myself. I may not be where I want to be in training, nor as fast as I’d like to be, nor as light as I’d like to be, but I keep going…I keep running! 

As I continue to build a new life on island, away from all of my family and friends, this song gave me a new perspective. I definitely felt a total sense of FREEDOM when I moved here, but lately I have been letting my circumstances shield the light into my life. So I had to repent..

Yes, I’m a 30 something year old college professor who is single with no children. Yes, my family and most old folks I meet also ask those famous life questions. However, I have come to understand that my life is on track. I am right where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. But there is more to be done. I can be more impactful in the things that I am assigned to do. I took some time to focus on myself; however, I understand that the truth of my life involves the giving of myself. I have been running from some of the assignments upon my life but now is the time to face the truth and change direction. I have to run towards those assignments. I cannot give up because situations look difficult or impossible. I have to keep running. I canNOT quit. I AM a Winner!

Freedom Renewed,

Stassi Nicole