TheWRITEaddiction.com

Disclaimer:  This week’s assignment was to write about the 12 step recovery process.  As someone who has lived with an addict, I do not make light of the process.   I am a fan of doing whatever it takes for you to conquer the hell that is your addiction.  However, I am making light of myself.  (That will be so much funnier when you finish reading the blog.)

I’m on the road to recovery.  I’m not a heavy drinker.  I do not smoke, or gamble.  I’m not addicted pornography, which, by the way is the fastest growing addiction in the nation.  I’m not really trying to recover FROM something.  I’m really just trying TO recover something, My pre-pregnancy body.

I’m not crazy. I’m not trying to revert back to the size two I wore on my wedding day,14 years ago today.  (Happy Anniversary, Husband!).  I’m not even trying to return to pre-first baby weight.  But I would like to be able to fit all the clothes I wore before I found out baby #3 was coming.  So follow me on my road to recovery.

Step 1.

I am powerless over my “problem”.  I hesitate to call my issue an addiction.  I can stop any time I want.

No seriously, there are actual people who suffer from food addiction.  I just like to eat… a lot.  My will power is useless against, goodies, gravity, and genetics, all of which are working against me in my fight for recovery.  I have a weakness for desserts, especially.  I have no self control when it comes to sugary, calorie-laden morsels on tiny plates.  My husband tells the story of the time he had to carry me from the buffet line at the casino.  Between the cheesecake, the chocolate covered strawberries, the tiramisu, and whatever else I ate that day, I had completely lost my ability to stand up straight.  Walking was out of the question, so he put me on his back and huffed it to the parking lot.  I was quite satisfied.  He, on the other hand was disgusted.  I’ll make it up to him in step 9.

Step 2.

My life and my scale are out of balance. It will take more than sheer will for me to fit into my super my bridesmaid’s dress for this wedding in October.  I need an act of God…and more exercise, and less eating…But mostly God, because without him, the exercising and less eating is not happening.

Step 3.

Dear God,

I know I deserve each and everyone of these pounds and extra inches around my mid-section.  I worked really hard to earn them.  Please pull my body and my will into submission.  Help me to honor you and my temple…and not with ice cream Sundaes.  You are the God of all things, and no detail of my life is too small.  I come to you now, pleading that your will be done…and really hoping that your will includes a more svelte version of myself.  But if not, help me to love the me you want me to be.(I am in trouble.  I actually typed smore, instead more svelte.)

Step 4

Self-inventory I think is the hardest step, which is why many people relapse after step 3, but her it goes.

I have too much peanut butter.  I have a jar in my desk at work, two in the cabinet at home. I just finished the last peanut butter M&M. I need to discard the Jif cookies I’m hiding in the cupboard, and PB chocolate gelato in the freezer.

i need to eliminate my after work snack.  I’m not really eating out of hunger, but habit.

And just because the pie is on sale doesn’t mean I have to buy it.

Step 5

I have failed and I do fail to say no to dessert, almost every single time.

Step 6

I’m going to be honest here.  I don’t want God to remove my desire for desserts.  The world would be a sad place without strawberry shortcakes and creme brûlée .  But I am preparing to be able to say no when they are offered.

Next week, I hope to be able to complete the steps.  If you’ve read this far though, you are officially my sponsor.  Be prepared for midnight rants and prayers for strength as I continue on the road to recovery.

Mama Radford

P.s.

Again, I’m not making light of the 12 step process.  I’m just trying to lighten the mood as our TWA staff tackles a very serious topic. And I really do need to lose 10 pounds and maybe break my peanut butter habit.