I used to harbor a slight resentment towards my dad. To me it seemed as if he spent more time and cared about his girlfriend’s kids more than his own and it really hurt my feelings. My parents were divorced around the time when I was about 5 years old I think, which is the same time that my maternal grandmother passed away. I spent a lot of my childhood being shuffled between my a few of my aunts houses and at one point I started staying with my dad, or rather at his girlfriend’s place in the projects behind my house, when my mom worked nights. I never understood and definitely formed resentment about that situation.
However, I’m so thankful that my mom never spoke negatively about my dad or his family during my childhood. She always said that the breakdown of her relationship with him had nothing to do with me, so she wanted to give me the opportunity to develop my own relationship with him. I saw that was a vastly different situation than other people who I knew in single parent homes. There were often times when the woman would openly express her angry and resentment in front of the children which biased them of course. I will NEVER forget the lesson that my pretend grandmother taught me in college.
One Sunday dinner after church we were talking about dads and fathers and she simply stated, “Don’t send your soul to Hell because of him.” She explained how we were commanded to forgive and to love, had boring resentment or hate is opposite of that commandment. That philosophy completely changed my life. I released those feelings and made the decision to love. I have spent time learning about the childhood of both of my parents, which I know has directly informed their approach to parenthood. I have a new understanding and that truth definitely set me FREE.
So on this Father’s Day, for those who are still walking around with hatred towards what their father didn’t do for them, I tell you to forgive and love. Let go of the anger and resentment for it benefits no one. Instead walk in love!
Happy Father’s Day Daddy!!
Your middle child