Transformative Thursdays: Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?

A few weeks ago, I read a blog titled something like “Why I Don’t Want My Husband to be My Best Friend”, which was basically poking fun at women like me whose husband is their best friend.  I don’t hide the fact that we are genuinely best friends and enjoy each other’s company.  I would rather spend a few hours with him any day than with my girl friends.  I’m being totally honest when I say I tell him what I’m thinking, even if that means telling him I was embarrassed to walk out of the bathroom at work only to discover my dress was hiked up in the back.  He gets me so there’s no need to feel like I can’t share my deepest or most intimate thoughts with him.  Yes, he may not understand what it feels like to give birth or to have a monthly cycle with or without cramps but because he knows me and understands me, he’ll listen and try to empathize.

We’re living in a culture that downplays the importance and value of marriage, which was created by God, and we’ve become okay with the shallow existence of marriage.  Marriage, in many cases, has become watered down to living with a roommate or a partner—two people who share the bills, take turns doing housework, having sex to fulfill a need but not enjoying the purpose for which marriage was truly created.  Marriage was created for two people—a man and a woman—to fully enjoy each other—and to complement each other’s purposes.  They were created of course to procreate but to also rejuvenate each other in a variety of ways.

As we prepare for Valentine’s day, I challenge you to become your spouse’s best friend and to truly enjoy being around him or her.  I’m not saying don’t ever go out with your girl friends or guy friends, but if you can’t share the most intimate details of your life and your deepest thoughts with your spouse, that’s a problem.  Stop accepting the world’s definition of marriage which is constantly changing.  The world says, ‘You can leave whenever you get unhappy.’  ‘You have a right to the way you feel.’  ‘You don’t have to put up with anything you don’t like.’  ‘I don’t need a man or a woman.’  ‘It’s all about ME’.  All of these attitudes are selfish.  Selfish desires will get you in divorce court quickly.  Take an evaluation and see if you truly love your spouse for who he or she is.  Do you value them?  Do you accept them as they are—even with their imperfections?  Do you allow them to enter your deepest thoughts?  Are you willing to allow them to be your best friend?

I don’t care who likes it or not, but I’m happy to call my husband my best friend!  And YES, your husband should be your best friend!

*To enhance your marriage, purchase “The Five Week Marriage Tune Up” at

~Coletta Jones Patterson

2 thoughts on “Transformative Thursdays: Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?

  1. I need the love button here. My grandparents were each other’s best friends, my parents are best friends so folks can saddown somewhere if they have a problem with my husband being my best friend. And he is the bestest, best friend in the world! I am literally counting the minutes until Southwest Airlines brings him home to me today from his conference! #lovemesomeyoungblood


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