TheWRITEaddiction.com

It’s November 1995.  I just turned 16.  I was preparing to drive. I had my first REAL boyfriend.  Of course, I had boyfriends before, but he was the first one where our interactions weren’t sneaking hugs at our shared locker, or staying on the phone for hours on end.  I could go out with my friends on the weekend.  I was having the time of my life.

The holidays were approaching, and I was all aglow.  My boyfriend was going to take me to meet his mom.  We were going to the movies.  It was going to be a good Thanksgiving…that was until my mom dropped the bomb.  “We’re going to the Ozarks for the holiday.”  That sounds lovely, right.  Except that I’m a 16 year old-girl.  My world revolves around my boyfriend, my two best friends, and when necessary, my school work.  First I was confused. I tried to convince my mother to let me stay home, by myself, on a long holiday weekend.  That conversation did not end well.  So then I became angry.  How dare this woman take me on a holiday to a condo on the Lake of the Ozarks!  She may has well have dropped me off on the other side of the world.

As the day drew close, my heart sank deeper within my chest.  This was before the days of cell phones and Facebook.  So for four whole days, I would have no idea what my friends were doing without me.  I wouldn’t be able to talk to them about what was on the TV, or what we were having for dinner.  (Keep in mind it was Thanksgiving.  We were all eating the same things!)

We got to the condo, and much to my chagrin, it was absolutely beautiful.  We were practically on top of the lake.  And if I had any sense at all, I would have marveled at God’s creation when I looked out over the beautiful scenery.  But I was a sixteen year old girl, far removed from everything she thought she knew…and so I was miserable.  The only friend I had was a CD Walkman which was my companion for the whole weekend, except at Thanksgiving dinner, because my aunt was not about to allow that thing at the dinner table.

I believe, I had several CDs with me that weekend, but I only needed one.  (Technically, it was two, as Luther’s greatest hits were too many to fit on one CD.)  And for hours at a time, I would let Mr. Vandross’s voice soothe my aching soul…
“Don’t you remember you told me you loved me, baby?”

I hoped he would remember.

“Said you’d be coming back this way again.”

It’s only four days.  Can our relationship survive 4 days ? Can I survive 4 days?

I did survive.  So did our relationship…kind of.  We broke up a week later for totally unrelated reasons.  I did more crying about going to the lake than I did after we broke up.  But every now and again, I hear that song and I am transported back to my time at Bagnell Dam and the Thanksgiving that I thought would ruin my life.

How I wish I could do it all over again.  I’d still bring my Luther CD and my Walkman, but i would have left my attitude at home.

Mama Radford