Things that make you say hmmm….

Well, it’s nice to not be alone thinking about the fitting in and family. I, too, know what it’s like to wait to be a part and don’t know how because you think differently than those you happen to share DNA with. I used to think something we wrong with me. 

I thought that I was the odd one And that’s why they didn’t like me.

I’ve come to learn it doesn’t matter whether I’m odd or they don’t like me; it’s just no longer a concern. Sure, I still wonder why this and that, why I’m not included, but then I think so what? If they can’t accept me the way I am, the hell with them. 

I sound angry, maybe I am because they never took the time to really get to know me and that’s their loss. 

It hurts, not going to lie, but I’m also not dependent on their love or acceptance to find the value in who I am as a beautiful person.

Now, I love my family dearly, but I love me more and I’m not tied to them. They are important to me, but me fitting in, in their world isn’t the key – they have to find a way to fit into mine. And as complex as I am they might be coming up a little short. 

The reality is that God gave us family. We look alike, we share our culture, but at the end of the day, I’m me and I can’t change that fact. I won’t adapt to them if it means betraying who I am. 

The lesson is be yourself.  Your family will either run to or away from you. Either way, self has to fit in with self instead because it doesn’t work to continuously make self fit in with everyone else. 

How’s that for things that make you say hmmm……

~ Stephanie Burgess

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