Why didn’t I check in from home? All I can say is that I didn’t feel well yesterday and it honestly didn’t occur to me to do that from home. I was doing well to pack a bag and get my tail to the airport.

So I get to the terminal and all the check in lanes are full. Had I been at full functioning capacity it would have occurred to me to check in from my iPhone but you know what, I think I deserve a pass for missing that since it was before 6am on a Sunday morning… However, I did make it to the check in and hit confirm only to get the dreaded message, “you’re a loser cause you missed check in, go to the gate attendant!”. I cleared security, no problem and got to watch as my plane pulled off and taxied away. Then they put me on the infamous “Standby List”. This is the list you secretly snicker at when you have a confirmed ticket, now I’m the one getting snickered at. First opportunity,denied! Second opportunity, the big D. Third opportunity there were two empty first class seats but due to some asinine rule, I couldn’t purchase the upgrade because I didn’t have a confirmed seat on the flight. Someone with a confirmed seat had to volunteer to buy and upgrade for me to be placed on the flight (blink blink). Trust me, it doesn’t matter how many times you read that line or say it out loud, it STILL doesn’t make sense. That brings us to the 2:10 opportunity.

Y’all they wheeled this plane in to Little Rock on it’s last leg. The bathroom thing is having mechanical problems, they keep trying to reboot it and the bathroom is broken. So, I can’t even be mad that the man I now fondly think of as Carl Lewis ran his behind off to take the seat I was about to have on this flight and guess what, they are all still sitting on that plane waiting to be cleared to take off and it’s almost 3pm.

My next opportunity is at 3:50pm. Wonder what other shenanigans are in store for me, I’m wide awake now!