My sweet love,
It was fun seeing you this week in sonogram. You are quite the dancer young lady and very flexible! I went clothes shopping afterward and was disappointed by the lack of variety in little girl clothing in the year 2015. Why is everything pink and princess themed? In these moments I understand more clear my mother’s aversion to the color through my own formative years and wonder if it doesn’t contribute to my own prejudice now.
You are not obligated to love pink, frilly,princess things. If your genes have any say you won’t in fact. If God’s humor comes through though and you do, Mommy will understand. The most important lesson I want to teach you is to love this very unfortunate world with all your heart but love yourself just a little more so that your happiness is not based on those around you. Happiness based on those around you is always fleeting. Self satisfaction and pride is not. Be the best person you can be and your mother will have her dream.
I have tried in the past months to give you family. Most of those closest to your mother, that were most influential, have long gone quiet on this side so I only have your father’s. This was not a good idea though and the end result is unsure. It’s in this time I started thinking of my own “family”. Those individuals that may not be related by blood but through loyalty, kindness, and strength of character. I am not as poor as it would seem.
Your godmother Andrea will be your favorite. Children (and adults) are drawn to her though she is not fond of them. You will be different, of course, little one. As your godmother you will have strings to yet another heart.
Your cousin Khaleal is another one. You have never reacted to my voice, your father’s, or anyone’s as much as you did to his. You guys will be the best of buddies and in him you will see the strength of your grandmother’s love. Her heart beat for your cousin and he misses her very much. Maybe one day he will tell you about her in his own words.
There are many people, too many to name, but don’t expect the traditional family my love. Yours is quite unique, just as I’m sure your taste will be, and in that lies the beauty.