Today (Friday) 9 months ago my son was born. Crazy huh? There are times when I question my sanity at having a child so close to the end of my Phd. I don’t know how I survived my comprehensive exams, took my last class and worked while having a newborn. (Yes, I did all of that back in January of this year). I really had no other option to just survive through that semester. Now as I look at my active, crawling, pull-upping, “walking” 9 month old I still just stare at him in awe whenever he naps and when he grins.
Just this week as I started collecting data for my dissertation, and started my job hunt (academic jobs get posted now for next Fall) I decided to let the universe take control. I suffer from anxiety and this is a big step for me. I have decided that come May, regardless of whether I have a job lined up I won’t worry. I will have finished my Phd with an infant (then toddler). I will have done what I thought was impossible, be a mommy and doctor (of philosophy). Regardless I know my son loves me and is proud to be my baby, even if he doesn’t know all the things I had to do to accomplish it. This week I am learning to let go and enjoy the moment(s). My son will never be this little again.