Havana Sundaes: Under Construction

Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.” -Rick Warren

When I was a teenager I believed that I was a person that did not like change.  Moving from Savannah to Jacksonville was traumatizing to me.  I went from having a close circle of friends and people I knew my whole life to knowing no one.  Once I established a new circle of friends, admittedly a little rough around the edges, I was usurped again and moved from one side of town to the other to once again become “the strange girl”.  I still remember high school orientation as I witnessed the cheer rivalry between Ft. Caroline Middle School and Arlington Middle School.  I spent 9th grade year eating lunch outside of the cafeteria on a stone bench.  It was decided then that I did not appreciate change.  

Only that wasn’t all true.  It turns out that you can not really control most transformation or change.  Life just happens and not to toot my own horn but because of drastic and constant need to adapt I have found I do it quite well.  I have also discovered as I approach my 35th birthday that I enjoy change in my life.  Every so many years I need it.  Whether it be a subtle change like coloring my hair, eliminating the color black from my wardrobe, or no longer wearing heels.  It may be something more jarring like switching from Oncology nursing to Dialysis nursing or finding the love of my life in a foreign country and making awkward attempts of learning his language as I struggle through airports to get to him.  My favorite and most introspective transformation was losing and maintaining a weight loss of 120lbs for the last three years.  It not only transformed my outer appearance but it changed my view of the world around me.  I am still a large woman but I am in no way unhealthy and I don’t let people tell me I am.  I don’t need validation or approval for any change or transformation in my life.  I also can step back from a situation and objectively analyze those people who mean me well and of are of value to my growth and those wishing to stymie my hopes and dreams.  It has removed most drama from my life and challenged me to become a better person even if initially I feel uncomfortable facing a new situation.  Whatever happens I will somehow be changed and that is a good thing.

Life is transformative and constantly moving, shaping us into our destiny.  Be it physical, mental, or spiritual we need it as a human race and must strive to embrace it as we evolve into our callings from infancy into our twilights.  Resistance to change is the death of ambition and hope.  I have never asked to “make it” to any particular age but rather that my life be lived to inspire others as well as me until my number’s up, always under construction, always pushing the limits of even my own imagination.

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