A few weeks ago, I began to explore the question of “who am I”? What if something happened to my husband…who would I be? So much of who I am is tied to who he is because we work as a team in our ventures and I truly love what we do together! So, I really couldn’t quickly come up with an answer of who am I. Today, I’m still reflecting on that question and thought we could delve into this space together.
Who am I? That can be one of the hardest questions to answer. Who am I? Not who others say I am or even who I want to be, but who am I right now. How am I wired? In order for us to truly love ourselves and realize our value, we must know who we are and own it. Sometimes, we become known as so and so’s mom or the basketball coach or the first lady or so and so’s younger sister. We wear a ‘title’ which may not truly reflect who we are. By owning the title, we become what others see in us rather than who we might truly be. At times, we mask our true identity. For example, I am Olivia, Jadyn and Alexander’s mom but that’s not the only person I am. If I only own that title (“mom”) and don’t see myself as a writer, entrepreneur, event planner, etc. I will miss out on the beauty and fulfillment that is revealed through these other areas.
In life, we may wear many hats, but we can’t afford to lose the essence of who we really are under a hat. We can become so comfortable wearing all the hats that we don’t take the time to evaluate who we really are. God created us uniquely with specific character traits, personalities, body shapes, varying tones of voices and it’s ALL good (unless we have allowed someone to change us)!
If you’re in a season of wearing a lot of hats, wear them well but never let them mask the real you. Know who you are and own that. When we become consumed with a title, or our identity becomes shaped around someone else’s, we are headed for trouble. What happens when you can no longer wear that title or the hats change? If our esteem is wrapped up in it, we become depressed. For example, moms whose lives are fully wrapped around their children (helicopter parents), have a difficult time enjoying the “empty nest”. Along the way, you have to let go and allow your children to have more freedom and independence apart from you and give yourself time to explore and enjoy who you are. What happens when you’ve worn the hat of breadwinner for your family so long that when you suddenly become unemployed, you are devastated and don’t know how to live? What happens when you don’t have a life apart from your friends and they suddenly betray you and you’re on your own?
Again, hear the voice of reason and be careful of wearing too many hats and titles and losing sight of who you are. Take some time to step back and evaluate who you are? Are you happy with the hats you’re wearing? If you could choose another job/vocation, would you? Are you happy with your inner circle of friends? Are you happy being YOU? If you’re not happy being you, no one else can be happy for you. Find what makes you most satisfied and fulfilled. Be you and own it!
~Coletta Jones Patterson
TheWRITEaddiction.com 
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